At work today myself and a guy in the sports department were discussing the college down the road closing the posting for their new head football coach, and I joked, “Well I better get my resume in,” and proceeded to tell him the story I applied to coach Memphis using credentials from the classic NCAA Football 2004.
I sent this time to then-Memphis AD R.C. Johnson around 2009 and bragged about my accomplishments as head coach of the Central Michigan Chippewas.
Some highlights in case you are having trouble reading the screenshot image, which is the only way proof of this story still exists:
- National Coach of the Year in 2005
- #1 ranked defense in 2005 and 2006
- Two undefeated seasons
- Overall record of 35-4
- #2 recruiting class in 2005
- Undefeated record in conference play for three-straight years
Amazingly, ol’ R.C. actually responded to my fake resume of NCAA accomplishments with a canned email, something along the lines of, “We appreciate your interest in the position and are reviewing all candidates.”
Nothing major, but a couple short sentences. Sadly, I have lost that email to time.
Needless to say, I did not get the head coaching gig at Memphis and am still looking for my big break in the coaching world.
Oh and if that resume doesn’t wow you, know that I am 8-2 in my first season as coach of the Detroit Lions in the new version of Madden.