Ranking the all-star games

For the most part, all-star games are a waste of time. Players don’t really want to be there, fans at home don’t care, and outside of seeing all your favorite players there, the fun wears off pretty quickly, because it’s a sport-like substance featuring the world’s greatest athletes…playing at half speed and hoping not to get hurt.

Amazingly, this week we get not one, but TWO all-star games with the NHL version set for Sunday afternoon, and the NFL one to follow on Sunday night.

But which of the four major all-star games is the best?

4. NFL Pro Bowl

Easily the worst. The players REALLY don’t want to be at this one, especially after the moved it from Hawaii, so you’re often times down to 3rd and 4th alternates who had OK seasons, but probably shouldn’t be an all star. The biggest reason this one suffers is because football, more so than any other sport, is entirely based on contact…and nobody wants to hit anybody in an all-star exhibition game and risk injuring someone.

Except Sean Taylor (RIP) who had the greatest moment in Pro Bowl history.

3. NHL All-Star Game

Hockey, sort of like football, suffers because there is a lot of contact in the real version of the game, but where hockey benefits is that unlike football, they can do a ton of trick plays and fancy moves that wows the crowd. The NHL also appears to have found a way to improve its game(s) by switching to a 3 on 3 tournament, which creates way more space and opportunity for those fancy moves we just talked about.

I mean, look at this. There weren’t a ton of goals, but even the goalies wowed during this game.

2. MLB All-Star Game

The biggest thing the MLB version has going for it is that of all the all-star games, it is the one that most closely resembles its actual games, and may even exceed it. Pitchers, having only to pitch one or two innings, will fire 100 mph fastballs, and hitters are swinging for the fences almost every at-bat. But MLB loses points because they try and make it count for some dumb reason, though that is going away. It also loses points because too many guys make the team, and so by the 6th or 7th inning you’re watching guys from the Twins and Marlins because every team has to have one guy.

1. NBA All-Star Game

Dunks, dunks and more dunks. The only part of basketball that matters. Seriously, this is stuff you see in NBA Street and it’s four quarters of it. Sure there’s no defense and there’s always one or two lame guys who shoot 2-pointers from the elbow, but it’s all about the dunks. Plus, since the NBA has such small all-star rosters, the guys who make it are truly the best of the best, and that leads to some awesome plays and crazy talent. Let’s watch some dunks.

 

 

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