Bryson DeChambeau is a big dork

Tiger Woods is back this week! It’s true, he’s playing in the Farmer’s Insurance Open, but we’re not here to talk about him.

For the last couple years if you followed golf even semi-closely, you’ve likely heard the name Bryson DeChambeau.

DeChambeau is a talented golfer with a decorated amateur career that included being the NCAA Champion in 2015, finishing as low amateur at the 2016 Masters, and finishing 15th at the 2015 US Open. He cashed in with a win on the Web.com Tour in 2016 for his first professional win.

But he’s a big fucking dork.

This week he made waves because he’s red, mad and nude online that the USGA told him his new stupid putter is illegal.

I mean, look at this thing and look how he putts.

putter

I swear to you that’s a real putter and not branding iron or a fire poker.

If this guy wanted to play with me while I was out at my local muni, I’d tell him to fuck off and go practice his shit where I don’t have to watch it.

That looks like something you’d do when you’re fucking around at a mini golf course, trying to show your date that you don’t take mini golf too seriously (you totally do) and that you can be fun.

Oh, and in case you thought his putting and putter were going to revolutionize the game, he missed the cut last weekend and didn’t break 70. Good job, Braydon.

DeChambeau is also the clown who had all his irons and wedges cut to the same length for some reason, and doesn’t break his wrists when swinging. Remember the old guy on the Tiger Woods games on PS2? That’s how he swings, and with his stupid fucking hat, that’s exactly what he looks like too.

DeChambeau is essentially a mad scientist who also happens to be good at golf, good enough to play professionally, all while fucking around in his garage with wacko creations and then taking them to the course to see if it’s legal of gives him thee inches of extra distance.

Hey, Brandon, if you’re so good with normal clubs, why don’t you just focus on that and actually win shit, rather than try and shave of minimal improvements that probably distract you from playing actual golf.

He strikes me as the type who would finish in 17th place, but consider it a big success because he putter made of jello and a coat hanger maybe helped him have two less putts than the previous week.

Anyway, if you want to watch this guy, he’s in the Farmer’s Insurance Open this weekend and tees off at 2 p.m. EST today.

I hope this guy never wins a PGA tournament. What a fucking dork.

 

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