A quick review/roasting of Big Baller Brand’s first shoe for Lonzo Ball


The internet got lit on fire this afternoon when noted shithead LaVar Ball’s apparel brand, Big Baller Brand, released its first shoe for future lottery pick and former UCLA star Lonzo Ball.

That’s them at the top.

Meh. They look like a pair of shoes someone working in the auto department at Sears would wear. In fact…


Overall Grade: C

There is absolutely nothing that stands out about them.

Except for the price. In case you missed it, ol’ LaVar has set the price on these bad boys at $495. That’s right, $495 for a pair of “Would You Like Me to Check the Air Filter? VIIs.”

Or, three times more than a normal pair of Jordan’s costs. Oh and if that wasn’t insulting enough, if you have big feet, sizes 14-and-up, the price then jump to $695. For a pair of fucking shoes.

If you buy these, I hate you and question how dumb  you are to spend that much on a pair of shoes.

Oh, and in case you were thinking they were made with premium materials or like, rhino skin or something to try and justify being $495, nope, the same crap that every other shoe is made out of. Only they try and sell it like they invented in space and that it has any actual impact on how you wear them.


Oh yeah, if you order now you won’t get to wear them until Thanksgiving. These are going to be the Fyre Festival of shoes. I will be stunned if one pair of these is ever shipped out to anyone whose last name isn’t Ball.

Now, you might be thinking that it can’t get worse than that for Big Baller Brand. Wrong. Check out their other footwear offering, a pair of sandals.


No, you are not misreading that, $220 for a pair of sandals that Nike, Adidas, and every other brand in the world sells for $20.

The worst part is that there are morons out there who will buy these shoes, or one of his $50 t-shirts, because LaVar Ball has no shame in exploiting his far more talented than him kids for every nickel he can get.


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