Oh yeah baby welcome back to the #Thrill5 column. Last week we got our mojo back going 4-1, bringing our season record to a groovy 16-9. This week we got another shagadelic column for you baby. These picks will have you rushing to your bookie to place a 100 billion dollar bet and on Monday morning you’ll be telling your bookie to “Get! In! My! Belly!” Yeah, baby yeah!
Panthers -2.5 (-110)
This week the Panthers and the Buccaneers are taking a trip across the pond to play American football in a real football stadium baby. Go ‘Spurs! The Buccaneers have been more confusing than waking up naked at the British Ministry of Defense covered in warm liquid goo. One week they lose to the Giants, the next they beat the Rams. They don’t make any sense baby. Meanwhile, the Panthers have looked groovy ever since Kyle Allen took over at quarterback. I still don’t know anything about him but the Panthers are winning which is all that matters. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it baby.
Saints ML (+120)
Jaguars -1.5 is a more obvious trap than Dr. Evil’s sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads. The Saints have looked positively groovy ever since Teddy Bridgewater took over for Drew Brees, with wins over the Seahawks, Cowboys, and Buccaneers baby. Gardner Minshew is one sexy man but there’s no amount of mojo that will help him shag his way out of this one. Saint go marching on in Jacksonville baby.
Redskins/Dolphins under 42.5 (-110)
Oi this game STINKS. This game could gag a maggot. You know when you go in an apartment building and you smell other people’s cooking on each floor and you go “what are they cooking?” This game is like that, plus crap. People are calling the Dolphins one of the worst teams in NFL history, but I’m not convinced the Redskins are any better. Hammer the under on this one baby.
49er’s/Rams over 50.5 (-110)
Oh yeah now we’re talking. Does this game make you horny? Does this game make you Randy baby? Shall we shag now or shag later? Are Jimmy Guwop and the 49er’s contenders or pretenders? Can the Rams recover from back-to-back losses or are the wheels starting to fall off? We’re about to find out baby. Both of these teams are stacked on both sides of the ball but in marquee matchups you always bet the over those are the rules baby.
Chargers -7.0 (+105)
The Steelers hopes for the season were crushed in week 2 when Fat Bastard Ben Roethlisberger suffered a season ending injury which forced them to start Number Two. Last week insult was added to injury when the MAGA Mini Me left the game with a concussion, forcing the Steelers to rely on Devlin Hodges at quarterback. The Chargers aren’t looking too groovy either after an underwhelming 2-3 start baby. The Chargers missed Melvin Gordon in the first 4 games and shag master Phillip Rivers wasn’t able to finish down the stretch. But at home with Melvin Gordon there’s not a doubt in my mind that the Chargers will get their mojo back and blowout the Steelers baby.