What’s popping willforthrillers. We’re back for another week of exciting NFL football and we’re going to enjoy it the only way we know by: by pissing away all of our money. Last week we went 2-3 to extend the current losing streak. We’re still up 29-21 on the season but that record is trending in the wrong direction. The good news is that I love the board this week. Everywhere I look I see winners. And lucky for you I’m a benevolent gambler and share all of my picks for free. Let’s ride!

Lions/Cowboys over 46.5 (-110)

This one might not seem intuitive, but it actually makes a lot of sense. The Cowboys and Lions are both 6-3 against the point total this season. The Lions offense might struggle since Matt Stafford is out again, but their defense is battered and bruised too, leaving an opening for the Cowboys to run up the score. Would it make more sense to just take the Cowboys -7.5? Maybe. But I have a process and you’ll just have to trust me.

Panthers -4.0 (-110)

Don’t let last week’s win fool you. The Falcons are still very much trash. The Panthers might not be contenders, but they’re also not pretenders, they’re authentic. They’re comfortable being themselves and who doesn’t like that? 4.0 points at home against the Falcons just feels too low. Lay the points.

Jaguars ML (+120)

It’s with a heavy heart that Minshew mania has temporarily come to an end. We still might not know whether he’s a good NFL quarterback, but we did fall in love, and it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Now we have ‘Big dick’ Nick Foles back on the field and my sabermetrics department is telling me that he is a Super Bowl champion. (This was going to be the part where I pointed out that Jacoby Brissett wasn’t a Super Bowl champion until I remembered he was actually a backup in New England and got a ring too.) The Jaguars are coming off of a bye, while the Colts are reeling from ugly losses to Pittsburgh and Miami. The Colts are still probably the better team but they’re vulnerable and once there’s even a drop of blood in the water that’s when Nick Foles thrives.

Texas/Ravens over 52.0 (-110)

This is the anticipated matchup of DeShaun Watson vs. Lamar Jackson. Does it mean jack shit? Who knows! I just know that the Texans are averaging 26.4 points a game and the Ravens are leading the league with an average of 33.3 points per game. The math is there and when in doubt, tail the public on the over.

Patriots/Eagles over 44.5 (-110)

I mean, yeah, I think these teams can cover 44.5 points. No problem. The Eagles secondary is garbo and Tom Brady is going to light them up. This is another case where it probably would’ve made more sense to just take the Patriots -4.5 but I write the blog after I place my bets so you just have to make lemonade.