SportsCenter Features New Sport, Dudes Slapping the Piss Out of Each Other

We know, we know, there are no sports right now other than Korean baseball and our beloved Taiwanese league (bet the Rakuten Monkeys and the over every morning, kids).

That hasn’t stopped ESPN and SportsCenter from scouring the world for whatever competition they can find to remind you why they are the worldwide leader in sports. Even if the sport is a competition where two dangerously burly men slap the living hell out of each other for the entertainment of a handful of Russians.

Yes, ESPN’s social media team really posted a video of two 300 pound men giving each other more CTE than the entire AFC in the 1970s. Even better, this contest was probably more hard-fought than anything you will see during Dana White’s COVID-19 human cockfights in Jacksonville this weekend.

It is nice to see in this time of worldwide boredom and lack of sports, the mainstream media is relaxing on the CTE scolding and going back to some old school, hard-nosed content. My only hope is that the offshore sportsbooks can get us some betting lines for the rematch of this classic slapping the hell out of each other bout.


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